More and more I keep coming across this term – impostor syndrome. Anyone else familiar with it? I’m not the first to bring it up and I’m sure I will not be the last. So, what exactly is it?

According to Webster, here’s the definition of impostor syndrome:

a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success

Merriam-Webster

Well, hot damn! Who’s with me on this one? Like who is in my head and how is this information out in the public for everyone to know? You get my drift?

I’ll be the first to admit that this is my reality. Does it feel better to know I’m not alone? That this ‘phenomenon’ is out there and not such a personal thing? Actually, NO!

I kinda feel exposed in one sense, but in another sense I’m intrigued and want to connect with all you other ‘impostors’.

Has it really just been my luck? Or am I legit?

To be honest, most times I do feel I’ve been lucky when I think about the successes in my life. However, I also recognize that I have busted my ass to get to where I am, so what gives?

Vet school? Yeah, I got lucky someone decided to open a new vet school in the Cayman Islands and they were taking all the rejects from the State schools.

Clinical year placement? Another lucky draw. Only a few of us wanted to be placed there so of course I got it.

Internship matching? Who wants to do an internship in Calgary, Alberta. I was one of two that chose them, so yeah, I matched.

Getting the job I wanted? Getting promoted to managing DVM? No one else wanted it so they filled the position.

Holy shit people! Are you all reading this ridiculousness?

Is it possible for someone to be that lucky all the time? Haha. It’s too bad my ‘luck’ doesn’t cross over into winning the lottery kind of luck – insert eye roll.

Maybe some people are that lucky, but in reality everything above you just read my friends is a result of imposter syndrome. When it hits, it hits hard.

Perfectionism

Those of you who know me well probably see this – the perfectionist mentality. It’s one of the things that contributes to that impostor syndrome mindset.

It WAS actually something I used to be super proud of. My goal was to be perfect in everything I did! HA! Well, let me tell you, that NEVER works out well. And when you start to do things with ‘flaws’ or are constantly feeling flawed or sub par in your actions, decisions, life, etc. it is not a fun time. Sometimes you’ll end up temporarily going to the complete opposite side of the spectrum and just not caring anymore, and that’s just as dangerous if not worse.

When it comes to vetmed, of course I want to be perfect for my patients and my clients! I always want to have the perfect answers, the perfect treatment plans, the perfect outcomes. But this is very unrealistic and more often than not, having this mentality leads to feelings of failure, so it backfires. Medicine is not a perfect practice. Yes, we have to be meticulous in our practice, but it is impossible to always have a perfect scenario.

Pets are different, situations are different, pet parents are different, and let’s be honest, our patients never ever read the book on how the disease, the surgery, or the situation is supposed pan out.

So am I still like this? Well, yes. And no. Awareness is a beautiful thing. I’m aware of it. I know how it affects me and I try to shift my mindset so that I do not dwell on the less than perfect scenarios, but more so learn from them. Sounds so perfect right? Lol. Seriously though, I do try to focus on doing things in a way that make me proud and satisfied.

Finding Balance

Balance. I kinda hate that word, but I kinda like it.

How do you find balance? How do you get through the perfectionism? The impostor syndrome?

Baby steps.

This is not something that just goes away. It comes and goes. It is something you work through. Just like you busted your ass off to get to where you are now and achieve all the wins in your life, this is just another challenge, another work in progress.

At the end of the day if you are feeling like an impostor it is because you have some degree of success in your life so be proud of what you accomplished because you wouldn’t have gotten here if you didn’t do the work to get here.